Personally, I have a problem when people publically embarrass someo¬¬ne for publically embarrassing someone else. Let me paint the situation. Today, I sat next to one friend who told another friend to “Shut up!” What did I do? I let it bother me for several hours without saying anything, and then I gave him a phone call and told him he needs to be more respectful. In so doing, I believe I kept a few important things in mind: his dignity, her dignity, and their relationship. Sure, I could have stuck up for her in that situation (as most decent fellas would), but, (1) that was the first time something like that had happened; and (2) if I think about the issue at heart, it doesn’t involve me as much as it does him and his past, and his and her relationship. If I really care about him, it is more effective to mention it privately. It is appropriate to defend those that are being bullied without forming a counter attack.
Now, there are exceptions to this general guideline, i.e. “the bullying and not the bully should be stopped”. I will provide one: the repeated offender. The second time something happens, you oculd say, “Hey, man, we talked about this. Cut it out.” Automatically, the bully (who most of the time is just over-excited) will examine his words and be more careful.
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