This past year has been so challenging for me emotionally, but I've at long last found good in it. Suffering and pain, I believe [because of our fallen nature], are among the only ways to get head knowledge into your heart. I haven't always had this perspective. Not my point... yesterday I was able to reflect and play my guitar for 3 hours; for me, to play the guitar is to reflect. I write songs, which grasp not only my words but my heart's melody. Taking this into account, and the fact that I have countless songs--sometimes, I clearly over-dramatize situations.
Just because almost every song I've written since coming to Gordon has been about a stupid situation with an amazing girl, I've realized this cannot consume me. I know God works out His will. I've realized that only "he that loses his life will find it again." I know that God's purposes are made clear when we let go of our attachments. I've resolved in my heart to become estranged, at least emotionally, with her. She's found new friends? Perfect! Now I can sort out my own heart.
And honestly I say this now (about turning around feelings of broken trust for the good), but this year has sucked. I've certainly had to become sensitive to another's wants and aspirations, her perception too.
Sometimes I reflect, and frankly, I wouldn't have changed a thing.
